Tough Night

I had to take Susan into the ER last night about 1100 pm. Her heart was racing again. This has happened two other times in the Fall and at that time was prescribed a heart medicine to control the heart rate. We still are not sure what is the cause of it other than tumor related. But she responded right away to her treatment in the ER. Along with an EKG, a chest x-ray was taken. The x-ray showed some fluid in her left lung. This explains some of the breathing difficulties of late. While in the hospital, she was on oxygen and this made breathing much much better. Before we found out about the fluid, we assumed we would be discharged from the ER and sent home. Susan mentioned at one point, "I don't want to give up my oxygen, I like my oxygen", this of course with a big grin on her face. So the oxygen was good for her. The doctor also wanted to keep Susan at KMC over night and into Wed. to remove the liquid in the lung. She slept very well and more in the horizontal position, which was very good and restful. She has been more propped up of late on her back which has been comfortable for her. Also of note is the fact that we contacted Hospice Care of North Idaho for a counseling session. They wanted to get a feel for where Susan is at. They will be taking a more active role in her care. Now we will probably get Susan on oxygen at least for night time sleep. Please see the next blog entry (THE WEDDING with pix) as well since I did both this morning, seperately. We are doing well and resting in the Peace of our loving Savior. "We know that all things work together for good to those who love God" Romans 8:28
Thanks for all your love, prayers, meals and love gifts. Your blessings have meant soooo much to our family.

The Wedding!

HANNAH AND JAKE
The Wedding was so beautiful, everyone. Thank You for all your prayers. It was so Christ centered and meaningful. Hannah, Jake and Pastor Mike did such a good job. All the decorations were so beautiful, with lots of white lights, candles and pine boughs. Hannah pretty much did 99% of the wedding plans and all the decorations. Everything went so smoothly. We were able to go in Friday and do all the setup. Templins was so nice to work with. All my extended family was there and a part of Doug's. We had everyone over for dinner Thursday evening and then when we were at the rehersal on Friday evening, everyone (all out of town guests) came over to our house for a big spegetti dinner. They had a delightful reunion visiting. Saturday we had everyone over for a big brunch here. All these meals gave us opportunities to visit and ekpot cost down for those traveling (21 relatives plus our family). It was fun to say the least. Been a letdown as everyone has gone home now. I still have Doug's sister Judy here who leaves today.

Doug and I are trying to get away this weekend. We never celebrated our 27th anniversary on Dec 20th because of company and wedding etc. Pray for a special, peaceful time for us.

Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful fun-filled New Year's Eve with 3 other dear families. We played Catch Phrase, Guesstures, Apples to Apples and of course lots of visiting. It was the perfect way to usher in 2008.
The hardest part of this blog is writing about me. I love sharing about everyone else but I am so blessed and grateful to have this communication with you all and so I'd love to share this prayer request with you. As we were all taking down the Christmas decorations on New Year's Day, Doug and I were over by the tree taking off the ornaments. I whispered to him how over the years I like to reflect on what might happen in the new year before all the decorations are put back up. Well I mentioned I'm not doing that this year because I probably won't be .... Well, Doug just grabbed me up and gave me the biggest hug and cupped my face and said "But Susan, you are going to such a far better wonderful place." I stepped back and gasped, "Oh Douglas, I haven't been focusing on that at all, have I. I have been so hung up on the kids." Earlier in the disease I quoted all those verses about 'to die is gain' and what heaven will be like over this life. How funny when the rubber is truly meeting the road, these verses take on a serious whole new meaning. Do you believe them or not? Oh, I believe it with all my heart but it's the kids that have been so hard for me to let go. Please pray for me that I would purposely give the children to the Lord and that I would trust that He is in charge of all the details of death and for my loved ones left behind. Also pray for all my other concerns a mother's heart has, that I would release them all. Thank you so much for your prayers.

Merry Christmas!

"In this world you will have tribulation..." John 16:33 . Jesus went on to say "...but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
O Come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,
O Come ye, O Come ye, to Bethlehem,
Come and behold Him, born the King of angels,
O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

What a wonderful time of year to rejoice and be glad because He has come. "I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the city of David, a Savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord." Luke 2:10-11

Savior - how precious that word is for us and the overwhelming impact it has on those who accept Him as their Savior. He is our hope in this sinful world and our salvation out of this sinful world.

Sorry we haven't written in a while. Having too much fun enjoying "Christmas". I've been pondering in my heart this Christmas and what it means to "Come let us adore Him". We had a wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Such sweet memories for all of us. Doug's younger brother John and his 17 yr old son Francesco are with us until Jan. 6th. We are having delightful time with them.

Last week they hydrated me on Wed and Friday to "tank me up" for Christmas. They take such good care of me. I have been feeling good and thank you for all your prayers. I'm sleeping well and those waves of anxiety have dissipated. My air exchange is just fine for now. I can go grocery shopping, run errands, work around the house. Just pace myself. So for now, the idea of a trac is put on the back burner. Also we got two doctors opinions about the feeding tube and for now since I can swallow food and drink, they can't recommend it. So, will keep praying about chemo and further treatments. Dr Tezcan is trying to find a combo that won't be so nauseating for me.

The wedding plans are coming along just great. Hannah is a little stressed so pray for her. I'm loving it all. Can't wait for the day (Jan. 5th)

Nathan has received such wonderful support from all of you. Thank you for all your love, prayers on his behalf. He is doing well. Michelle is staying strong relying on the Lord for her peace and strength. God Bless.

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!

Oh how we Vetschs love the snow. We went out in the hot tub early Saturday morning. There was snow on all the aspen branches overhead of us, and it would blow down on us. We are so enjoying the hot tub my family bought us last Spring. We went sledding at the golf course that afternoon. I sat and watched with such fun memories. The older kids have been up to Schweitzer and Silver Mountains to snowboard. They love the new Quad lift improvements. Several of the kids are switching back to skiing.
This was a good week for gaining new perspective on my situation. Just have not been comfortable and been doing ALOT of enduring. Doug and I made an appointment with Susan Herbst (Physician assistant at Cancer Center) to talk about it and options for further comfort. We talked about pain management, my weight and dehydration issues. We decided to pursue a feeding tube. One of my doctors has already said it isn't warranted. Will you please pray about this matter as we pursue mor opinions. Also we continue to pray about further chemo treatments which are causing such nausea and dry heaves. One more thing, the trach is still an option that I find myself wanting to do after Hannah's wedding. We desire God's will be done and that all of it would be to Glorify Him.
I have a huge praise in that the moments of anxiety are much better. When they wash over me, I have purposefully given them to the Lord. He is in charge of all the details of death and loved ones left behind. And all the other concerns a mother's heart has.

I'm sorry I haven't written lately. I've been struggling with health issues and time has gotten away from us. I did do the new chemo drug last Thursday. It went real well with no reactions. Over the weekend, I started to get nauseated, dehydrated and couldn't stop dry heaving. Sunday afternoon we went into the ER and they were so sweet to me. I received 2 Liters of fluid and an IV shot of anti nausea medicine. Oh, by evening I was feeling so much better. Continue to deal with waves of anxiety. I think its a side effect of my pain meds. I will inquire about this matter. Sleep continues to be an issue although my breathing is doing well. I'm really trying to keep my thoughts only on Jesus BUT having moments of discouragement. Where great faith lives, fear cannot live. Where great fear exists, no faith can survive.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Fear is a product of the devil and Satan will strive to turn my doubts into fears and my fears into panic.
"Lord, I believe, help me in my unbelief." Mark 9:24

We were greeted Sunday morning by a phone call from Nathan in Iraq. It was so wonderful to hear his voice. He is doing well. We do still need to keep praying for his safety even though we hear that it is improving over there. Still in harms way. Also, Hannah had a second Bridal Shower with Jake's side of the family, on Sunday afternoon. She was blessed once again with such sweetness of generosity towards her. We as a family are blessed to have them all in our life.

Glorious Bridal Shower for Hannah

On Saturday, we had a Bridal Shower for our Hannah (Wedding is Jan. 5th, 2008). There were 26 ladies there to celebrate Hannah getting married. We had a very special time with ladies that have been and are a big part of Hannah's life. It was glorious! And the weather outside made it even cozier inside. It had been snowing and more fell that night (about 8"). So it was special.
Since last I talked with you all, I had been sleeping pretty well. On Sunday though I started having waves of anxiety over me. I couldn't figure out if it was anxiety that was triggering shortness of breath or shortness of breath causing the anxiety. It persisted into Monday, so we called Dr. Detar back about this anxiety. And he said that my CO2 level maybe elevated due to inefficient air exchange. So I did blood work and it showed normal. But in the discussion, I discovered that one of the nausea medicines that I had been taking was good for anxiety as well. Once I starting taking it again, my anxiety went away. Praise God! My sleep in the past couple of nights has been somewhat normal. I am also taking a High Calorie, High Protein shake mix usually three times a day and that is going well. Keep praying for weight gain and resting in the Lord for needs of my family. I need to learn to not fight the shortness of breath but relax my way through this and keep my thoughts centered on Him.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Chrst Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7